STUDIO FOR SALE - New Forest, Hampshire, UK

My good friend and photographer, Graham Wood from Everton in the New Forest is soon to be moving to Scotland and will be looking to sell his lovely Red Rose Studio.

Of course, I don't want it to be sold to someone not prepared to keep it as a photographic studio, so I'm appealing for any models or stylists who might know a photographer looking for a studio space or photographers who might want a studio space or to even share a studio space in the south of Hampshire, UK to come forward and show interest.

I have no idea on price or what equipment Graham is prepared to leave behind, if anything but the photographic studio comprises:

Studio 1

Studio 1:

• Approximately 360 sq ft (approx 24ft x 15ft)
• Open raftered ceiling- max height approx 11ft
• Boarded floor
• 2.7m seamless support system
• Wall mounted light booms

Studio 2:

• Approximately 230 sq ft
• Carpeted floor
• Open rafter ceiling - max height approx 10ft

Me in the changing room, a mirrored view

Kitchen:

• Tea and coffee available

Changing Room:

• Approximately 40 sq ft with attached toilet and washbasin providing changing and make up area

There is also a further separate toilet. The building is fully heated with gas fired central heating and there is on site parking for 3-4 vehicles.

Please contact either myself or Graham himself at: info@redrosestudio.org

Link to studio website: http://redrosestudio.org/

Here are some images of me taken over the years (from 2008) at the Red Rose Studio.

All photography by Graham Wood and all hair, make-up & styling by me, unless stated otherwise:

2nd row 4th image - hair & make-up by Rachel Thomas, 3rd row 1st image - styling by Nikita Sablier and the other model is Sinopa Rin, 5th row 1st image - hair & make-up by Rachel Thomas, 5th row 4th image - photography by Riccardo de la Venetzia (Richard Lund), 6th row 2nd image - photography by Riccardo de la Venetzia (Richard Lund) and the other model is Nic Button.

      

The New Forest is surrounded by beautiful scenery, Exbury Gardens, (pictured above) is just one of many exquisite locations.

Are you interested?

A talented trio

Time for some old images, before the new:
I was clearing out our old loft bedroom and found a load of books in cardboard boxes, one of which was a paperback called 'Light and Skin' by photographer, John Evans. I worked with John a while back now and it reminded of one of our shoots together with fellow photographer, Gregory Brown and beautiful model, Iveta Niklova in a fabric warehouse in London.
A very talented trio: these images are almost three years old and all three parties involved in this shoot with me are still producing gorgeous photographs.

 

 

 

 

The front cover of John's book, Iveta (left) and me..

..and this image of mine (front) and Iveta's bums was used for the back cover.

Here are some images of me inside the book, taken by John Evans during a trip to The Algarve, Portugal (Oct 2008) to shoot specifically for Erotica '08 prints and for this book- I was delighted to see photographer, David Lewis, (who I worked with for the first time only a couple of weeks ago on my Kent tour) had bought prints of two standing nudes, (me - front view, back view) and had them up on his living room walls. How cool!

A mixture of baby oil and water droplets.

 

The music room

I have been playing my piano all day today, which is a rare occurrence these days.

It's partly that I don't have time to play - modelling admin takes up practically every spare minute that I'm not shooting. It's also partly because I used to be quite good and every time I play something these days, I'm just reminded of how I let my ability go. People say playing the piano is like riding a bike; you never forget - but they are missing something really important!

I haven't forgotten how to play and I don't think I ever would. I have just lost my ability to play all my old pieces to a high standard. I am frustrated when I play stuff I used to play really well.. not so well! My fingers know all the right notes to press, know all the right rhythms, dynamics and note speeds, I can even still hear a piece of unknown music in my head by reading the score, (it's like reading another language) but it's like my fingers won't function. It's just lack of practice - they no longer have even strength and are not so flexible. I suppose it's similar to when you get older, your brain and your physical body deteriorate at different speeds - you know exactly how something should be done but you just can't physically do it.

I probably sound really bitter about giving it up, but I'm really not. I'm bitter that I was rushed into it so young by over-forceful guardians, my mother and maternal grandmother. I'm not going to deny I enjoyed playing the piano because I did immensely and I was mega excited each time I passed another grade - I thought music was going to be my chosen career without a doubt. But now I'm older, the picture is clear and had I been left to accomplish my achievements in my own time, the way I wanted to, I honestly think I'd feel more positively about my musical past now.

Instead, I was used as a trophy - in public, it was "look at my wonderful granddaughter, she has Grade 8 piano and she's only [ ]" but back at home, the insults and put-downs were flying - "you're mad, you've got Schizophrenia, you'll end up in an asslyum, you'll never get anywhere, you're useless, pathetic, just like your father" etc. As it happens, I'm not mad(!) and my father is a wonderful man, who enabled me (when we met again when I was 18) to live a life completely contrary to the one I grew up with. I didn't realise it was my grandmother who was the bitter one all along, which is why I really don't want to feel that way about anything, especially not music.

I wish my mother & grandmother had encouraged me to take my time instead of being encouraged as a kid to be the 'youngest & best pianist in the school.' By the time I had an audition for the Guildhall School of Music & Drama, I'd already been gone from their house a year; I was 18 and my heart was no longer in it. I hated that none of their encouragement had been for my welfare or future - only for their family status.

I thought I'd been lucky to get a job as a pianist in Portsmouth Guildhall - sounds very grand - but really not. The Broadwood & Sons needed tuning every couple of weeks and no-one in the company had the funds for that sort of 'luxury.' No-one listened, no-one knew any of the music I played, so I soon got bored.

I could of course stop having a whinge, get off my backside and take it up again. I can't for many reasons, some of which I stated in my opening lines. I sometimes wonder how far I'd have to take myself back to start again because I certainly couldn't pick up from where I left things!

However, I'm generally not having a whinge. Maybe we're all living millions of parallel lives, but I'm glad of where I am today. To think of what I have today that might not have been is just awful, so I consider myself very lucky. I never made a conscious decision to give up the piano, it just sort of happened and I lost the magic when I realised I wasn't doing it purely because I wanted to, but someone else wanted me to. Realising that is more of a shock than you'd expect. When I play now, a little of that magic comes back and I feel sad, and I guess I'll never know how I truly feel about it - it's been a whole decade of confusion and a whole twenty years since I first started playing.

I always vowed I'd do what I want when I left mum & nan; I wasn't prepared to let their emotional abuse affect me long-term, but it was a lot harder than I'd ever imagined. I'm in a job I totally adore and in a place I never ever thought I'd be.. (model.. wife?) and that's perfect enough for me.

People still often say to me that my talents have gone to waste and that it's such a shame, but they don't stop to think that their words hurt a bit, that sometimes I actually feel the same and that I'm trying to re-record over all those old messages that were drummed into me as a kid.

Some people find it difficult to understand that just because you are/were good at something, it doesn't mean you have to use it. Being a hypocrite, I'd be the first person to encourage someone else's talents, whatever they may be - I suppose it is natural to have that reaction - but to everyone who has a story behind why they aren't choosing to succeed, I can honestly empathise.

And granny dear, I don't need to prove myself to anyone.

For Adrian Sole, RIP my friend

It's absolutely heartbreaking for me to write that my good friend and photographer, Adrian Sole passed away the morning of Friday 20th May aged 45, after a long battle with throat cancer.
Perhaps he was not that well known to most; he was a modest guy, a modest photographer, fond of entering the net-model competition of the day - he just loved to take pictures of people having fun, people with interesting characters, he just loved people in general. Ady was a guy with a truly unique capacity to generate friendship in everyone he met.

Reading through all the touching tributes on his facebook page, I can't help tears rolling down my cheeks. I'm a bit disappointed in myself because I know he would not have wanted that.

"To me you were a true inspiration from the day you were diagnosed right up until the last moment you drew breath, your attitude and determination to not let this awful illness ruin your life was breathtaking, i truly believe that u believed you were invincible, and this meant that you were able to live your life and do the things you wanted to do." - Alison

My heart goes out to Alison and their two little girls, also his four older children, one of whom I met.

I'm sorry if this sounds overly emotional and you're wondering why I care that much, but I have never in my life met anyone so determined to get on with theirs as if nothing was wrong, when in reality, everything's falling apart. Adrian casually mentioned he had terminal cancer one day (October last year) in his car as he picked me up for a shoot as if he was telling me what he was going to have for dinner that night. I was shocked, I didn't really know how to take it but his outlook on life remained more positive than most of those without a care in the world.
I'm sure many of you might tell me I'm naive, but I truly believed he wouldn't die. When positive thinking can heal so many things in your soul, Ady should have made it. Life is so cruel.
He had so many plans - he talked about the future, we were sat in a little cafe having brekkie before a shoot when he chatted about the book he was writing to help inspire people to think ahead no matter what, he talked about how things were picking up with his photography, something he loved doing most.
Being a countryman at heart, he was so excited to be asked to shoot a calendar for a well-established hunting website this June and had me and several other models lined up for the event.
His mind was never short of ideas and although we managed several shoots, we still had several specific ideas lined up.
The last time I saw him was at the last Farnham social where he brought his son, Ryan along - we chatted as usual - he got on with everyone. When Ady found out I was in a bit of a spot financially, he was the first person to bail me out, saying it was only him paying me early for our next shoot.
I am devastated we never got to have that 'next shoot' and now I have £150 that is not mine.
I feel terrible guilt that this situation ever arose. I don't know how I should contact his family and tell them, or use the money to have some sort of memorial set up in his name - maybe a bench in Old Portsmouth where we once did a shoot, overlooking the sea.
I have more guilt in that the last contact he made with me was a text, asking if I had another model, Victoria Summers' email address.
It's such a simple mistake to make - reading the text and thinking "I'll text back later." I have never been brilliant with messages at the best of times but I have learnt a horrible lesson. I wasn't to know that would be the last time I ever heard from him. And I never replied.

I'd loved to have just said goodbye. He never liked or wanted to talk about how bad it really was, he always dismissed his illness, saying "everything will be all right" - so you never really knew how bad he was. Even with a swollen neck, which he even made jokes about, pain from the tubes that had been inserted, tired from all the drugs.. he'd still come out for an evening of socialising; he'd always have a smile on his face, always chatter on excitedly about life and he was the first person to offer a helping hand.
We went to the beach, round the historic dockyard, he took some candids of me in a beach-side cafe, had a giggle when he spontaneously asked to borrow a random lady's three dogs for an awesome fashion shoot, (it made me SO pleased to see how thrilled he was with those results) he came round mine for chats & a cuppa, fixed my computer, bought me dinner after yet another shoot, I laughed at him because he never took off his hat - he also came to my birthday party in February (which was sort of half party, half networking event in Fareham) and to my delight & surprise he'd bought me a little lotions & perfume set from Next, which I still use now. And all I feel is though I've let him down.

The Vanguard, my birthday party - Feb 2011

His thoughtful little gestures will stay with me for the rest of my days. I am not only honoured to have been a very small part of his short life, but also amazed at how someone can influence and become so dear to me in such a short space of time. He was such a modest and charming man with a big heart. I don't think he even realised the effect he had on people.
He often said his photography and thoughts were "silly really" and "rubbish really" and I always told him off for putting himself down! I used to laugh when he mentioned net-model's competition of the day and told him that the critiques were supposed to be rude in a funny way and that no harm was meant by it!

Anyway.
I'd do anything to give him a hug right now and tell him everything's going to be all right, just like he always did for me when I'd express concern about him.
I hope he's found peace now but I'm sure I will miss him loads.
He was a brave, brave man and strong as a rock. And I only hope a little bit of Ady can live on in us all.

Ade, you were one in a million x

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Here are a few images we created in the short space of time we knew each other:

Gosport, Hampshire - Nov 2010

 

Bayside Cabin cafe, Stokes Bay and Alverbank Hotel, Gosport, Hampshire - Nov 2010

Alverbank Hotel, Gosport, Hampshire - Nov 2010

 

Old Portsmouth, Hampshire - Feb 2011

Old Portsmouth, Hampshire - Feb 2011

Between Old Portsmouth and Southsea seafront, Hampshire - Feb 2011

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* I apologise if you knew Adrian and you didn't know what had happened until reading this post. I just wanted people to know what a wonderful inspiration he really was.

Royal Wedding

Well I'm currently on a train to Hersham to work a half day with Peter Beardow, modelling some new designer lingerie for him again.
So happy it's another lovely day as I have been able to wear my new short summer dress with my red heels.
Yesterday Robert & I spent the day with his family and some close friends, watching the marriage of Prince William to Kate Middleton with a BBQ and what a wonderful occasion it was. Humble and beautiful, it made me so proud to be British and I'm not particularly patriotic.
Kate looked gorgeous in a dress designed by the late Alexander McQueen; she was radiant and the service was simple and touching. Diana would be so proud.
Could not understand the ill feeling expressed by people in the run-up to the big day. Most of you employees had a day off work and it was a huge part of British history.
This picture from today's paper makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, and brings back all the memories of my very special wedding day to my own prince charming!

Hope you all have a lovely long weekend whatever you are doing. Smile and enjoy x