How 2 b a modelz (Idiots guide to facial expressions)

© Jim Bateman

1. 'Busting for a wee'

2. 'Glee'

3. 'Happy'

4. 'Hot n saucy' (can't you get that flavour nik naks?)

5. 'I've a pineapple up me bum'

6. 'I've eaten too many chips!'

7. 'Not another one of your jokes please'

8. 'Jim just offered me a chip covered in brown sauce'

9. 'And he's just told me I've got to go home tomorrow'

10. 'Laughter at Jim's rubbish jokes'

11. 'Just been told the ma-in-law is coming round' (this is not strictly true as my mother in law is lovely)

12. 'Miserable cow'

13. 'OMGWTF'

14. 'Oops my bosom totally just fell out'

15. 'Pain'

16. 'Pretending to be a virgin'

17. 'These better not appear on the internet Jim.........'

The Liqorice Allsort & Trashbag Fashion

I took the time to dig out an old contact card the other day. One that'd been in my bag for over 6 months, belonging to John Farrar, who I met at Brighton back in May 2009. Two days ago, we collaborated ideas at the little studio he uses in Hove, produced some images from two great sets, with a little fashion thrown in for good measure and here are the results.

'Trashbag Fashion'
The idea started off as a beauty shot but then more and more was added to this concept. The latex skirt worn as a top was going to envelope both arms the bondage way, but instead added a glitzy necklace, a pair of killer platform shoes and a few blown up binbags smeared with babyoil, tucked into a thick belt around the waist.

Hair & make up by Cheryl Elizabeth

'The Liqorice Allsort'

So when I pulled these socks out of the suitcase and mentioned Bertie Basset, the only natural thing to do was to model AS a liqorice allsort. The actual sweets didn't have a place in the final image, despite many episodes of laughter of trying to weave them into my huge manic hair.

So I bagged them back up and gave them to my fiancé when I got home.

Only joking!

 

Hair & make up by Cheryl Elizabeth

Tomorrow I am at Lowford so will be spending the rest of tonight packing long silky materials, floaty fabrics and dark lacy lingerie. The shoot's not until 2pm but there will be a pole dancing instructor there in the morning, so I may be lucky enough to bag a lesson or two and indulge some hardcore warm-up stretches.